Tell Us About . . . Friends and Friendship: What Brings Us Together

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It's hard to know where to start when writing about friendships, because there's so much I could say, and I've been blessed with so many excellent friendships throughout my life. At the same time, I feel that I have yet to find a good friend here, nearby. We are making friends in the area, mostly at church, but I think we're still at the getting acquainted stage and there hasn't been anyone that has been a 'kindred spirit' connection right from the start. 

As children, I think we develop friendships based on who we're with - usually our classmates at school. Perhaps cousins we see often, or peers we see regularly at church or community functions. How many of us stay in touch with the people that were our classmates and friends from way back when we were in grade school? I'm still in touch with quite a few schoolmates, and with one friend that I was in school with since Grade One! Way back then what we had in common was our age and that we lived in the same neighborhood, so we wound up in the same first grade classroom. We went to the same school and were sometimes in the same classes for twelve years, and by the time we were in high school, we had more in common and it was a more genuine friendship. These days, though we live far apart, she is still a friend that I've known since we were little girls and now we are both empty nesters and grandmothers. 

I have a few friends from my high school years that I'm still in touch with. My best friend in high school was the maid of honor at my wedding, and we have remained close all through the years. We were together all the time during high school, and the first few years after we graduated, until I moved away. We prioritized staying in contact through letter writing and later by email and messaging, and every time I've been back to Calgary I've made sure to get together with her. The interesting thing is that when we are in the same room, we are kindred spirits again, picking up conversation as if it was just yesterday that we talked. Our lives have taken different directions in some ways, and we aren't in constant communication, but we share a strong connection.

True friends are always together in spirit. ~Lucy Maud Montgomery

With some, we're certain our hearts must have been acquainted, long before we ever met them. ~Shakieb Orgunwall

I knew I'd written some related pieces in the past about friendships and kindred spirits, so at this point I turned to my archives for some help.

We homeschooled our four children, and one of the aspects of homeschooling that I didn't know about way back when we started was what it would mean as far as friendships. Or socialization, since that is the word often thrown about as a concern for children who are homeschooled. No one talks too much about whether the homeschool moms are socialized! I must have just assumed that we would continue with the friendships we already had, and it didn't occur to me that I might have to actively pursue some friendships within the homeschooling community for myself and for my children. Turns out I didn't need to worry about that at all! 

 My kids and I found plenty of friends within the growing homeschool community in our area! Some of our closest friends were those that we go to church with and were also homeschoolers. Obviously we share a lot in common as homeschool families, and there were opportunities to bond as we worked together and supported each other in that endeavor. In some cases, my kids became good friends with the children of my good friends, and sometimes I struck up a close friendship with moms of the kids my kids were close to. And in some cases it was hard to tell who became friends first! Either way, it's fascinating to look back and see how much we shared as we did life together. One of my very best friends is the mom of my son's best friend, and our daughters were very close growing up too. Another of my best friends has two daughters that have both been very close friends with my daughter. We became friends when we were both on nursery duty with our baby girls during co-op class. I connected with yet another best friend when our kids were dating during high school. The kids moved on to other relationships, but the friendship between the parents just got closer, as our husbands became friends as well, and we've remained close even as life took us on a couple of wierdly parallel twists and turns as we moved and navigated those kinds of changes in our lives. 

To discover a kindred spirit is to find your heart in the heart of a friend. ~Ann Parrish

Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world. ~Lucy Maud Montgomery

Something amazing happened as I became an adult, a wife and a mother . . . my relationship with my mom morphed into a friendship. And the same thing happened as my kids got older. It seems like the transition from parent-child relationship to friendship started during their teen years, but my kids are also my friends; and so are their Significant Others. Many of their friends have also become my friends, especially those who may have called me "Mum" sometimes and whom I've considered my "auxiliary kids". 

Having family that are also friends, and friends that you love like family . . . what a great blessing!

Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up. Also, if two lie down together, they can keep warm; but how can one person alone keep warm? And if someone overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.

~Ecclesiastes 4:9-12~

A bosom friend - an intimate friend, you know - a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul. ~Lucy Maud Montgomery

Friendship is indeed based on sharing something in common. It might be a neighborhood, a school, a church, a hobby, a workplace, a common cause, but there's something that initially brings us together. But perhaps what binds friendships most closely is doing life together and a shared faith. We pray for each other, offer advice and encouragement, share our knowledge and experience, and develop lasting ties. We build trust and we help each other out along life's journey. That brings us together and keeps us together over the years.

Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.

~I Peter 3:8~

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.

~Philippians 2:1-2~

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Parts of this post are adapted from The Blessing of Friendships which originally appeared on Homeschool Coffee Break in May 2016; and from WQ - Kindred Spirits which originally appeared on A Fresh Cup of Coffee in July 2023

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Tell Us About . . . is a monthly opportunity for bloggers to showcase their creativity. Each month one of the co-hosts will choose the word to focus on. On the third Thursday of every month we'll respond to the prompt "Tell Us About ---" which could be absolutely anything. And how we respond is also wide open. It could be a blog post with our opinions or reminscences; a poem, photos, a short story or whatever takes your fancy―it could even be a mix of all these! This month's theme is "Friends and Friendship" and our hostess is Penny at Frugal Fashion Shopper.

This post is linked at Is This Mutton

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