Personal responsibility and resilience. I was chatting with a couple of friends yesterday about how it seems that victimhood and passing the buck are so rampant in today's world. Everyone goes through hard things and everyone faces situations where the deck is stacked against them, but the popular approach seems to be to whinge about it and expect special treatment and coddling. With Veterans Day/Remembrance Day just past, I can't help thinking about what many of the veterans have experienced and I think of all the truly horrendous things that happen in war and things people in the past had to live through and yet they carried on and continued to live productive lives. And here we are with all our modern comforts and conveniences and people are melting down and at crisis level because their day didn't go exactly as they'd hoped or someone said something mean to them once. I would never want to trivialize actual suffering or trauma, but some of the things modern society calls "trauma" just don't meet the definition. So I think we do not appreciate or encourage taking responsibility for one's own behavior and the ability to just get on with life and roll with the punches, so to speak.
This assumes I've been productive and I'm not so sure I have been lately! I guess it is harder to feel a sense of motivation when it's getting dark earlier and I just want to have a long winter's nap. I think it helps to modify expectations. I hadn't really considered this before, but as I'm thinking about it now, I wonder if I might need to plan what I have to do and when in more detail than usual.
3. What's a popular food you don't like?
Crab and lobster. I'm not a seafood fan. I don't know how popular a food this is, but mushrooms. YUCK.
That's such a toss-up. I think I'm going to say art in spite of the fact that I really love history. The reason is that history can be very dry and boring, just depending on how it's presented or how it's studied. Not everyone appreciates history and it seems irrelevant to some. However, art can be enjoyed and appreciated even if one doesn't understand it or know the background or the artist or the piece. I think there are more on-ramps to finding interest in art - just the visual impact, the technique, the medium, the story being told, the artist's own background, the historical or social context . . .
I literally had to do math and then try to remember what my life was like at that age. And what's the advice that grandmas always give younger women, especially young moms? Yeah, that's the line: "Enjoy every moment. It goes by so fast." Life does go by fast. When you look back it does seem like the babies grow up too quickly. But to be honest, not every moment is enjoyable, and you don't need to feel bad if you're not basking in a warm glow every second of your young adult or mothering years. Sometimes it's hard, and sometimes you'll need to have a good cry. So maybe my advice would be more along the lines of: "Live in the present, treasuring the joys and finding comfort in the midst of the hard things."
Bonus advice: Learn to make a budget and stick to it. Develop healthy habits. Read your Bible and memorize Scripture. Choose music and entertainment with positive messages. Souls are always more important than stuff. Make everyday occasions special. Call your mom.
We're really starting to think about how we'll do Thanksgiving this year, and I think it's likely to be rather wierd. We're not going to be with the Maryland kids this year, and it's possible that the Ohio kids will be traveling, so it might be just the hubster and me. And I don't think it's EVER been just the two of us for Thanksgiving. Isn't that crazy? We are going to hockey games on the Wednesday and the Friday, so it seems like we'll be busy no matter what!
It's a Wednesday Quotes week and the theme we chose for this one is Confidence. As I wrote my post I was thinking about a present situation that I was not feeling entirely confident about, but when I compare it to how I felt around two years ago and the first six or so months that we lived here, I realize that I've kind of got my mojo back! LOL Anyway, just wanted to say that the Wednesday Quotes link-up is open now and will be for two weeks, and I'd love for you to join us. Find it here: WQ - Gaining Confidence.
What are you appreciating these days? Leave a comment and let me know!
Hi Kym, after reading your post, I thought of how lucky I live so close to my family, my kids and siblings. I know how it feels when the kids do their own thing. We do Christmas and Easter, but they usually do their own thing for the 4th. But I still get to see them. It must be hard when your kids live in different states. I like what you said about developing healthy habits. It's never too late to start, right?
ReplyDeletewe were very lucky to live close to our kids for many years but we still have one son nearby. It's an adjustment for sure!
DeleteI wish I'd developed healthier habits earlier in my life - some things are harder to change as I get older!
Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
So true that not every moment of raising babies and kids is wonderful! When our kids are older, it is easy to romanticize those years. And no one should feel badly for not enjoying every moment. It is probably harder now with social media and moms seeing picture after picture online of moms smiling with a baby or toddler in tow. You see a still shot and forget that those smiles were likely JUST for that shot!
ReplyDeleteYou expressed your answer to question one so well! Yes to everything you said. It reminded me of this quote- ¨Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times
create weak men, and weak men create hard times.¨
I fear that there are many ¨weak¨ men and women today due to coddling and easy (for the most part) times.
Enjoyed your answers! Have a great Thursday
Ironically, it seems like Instagram and blogging have given us some unrealistic expectations of how pretty and well-planned our lives should be.
DeleteI like that quote about hard times, and it sure seems to be true. I hope that we're on the "getting stronger" part of that cycle now!
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I wholeheartedly agree with your answer to number one. We used to encourage these traits and now we coddle and encourage the opposite it seems. We have had some unusual Thanksgiving holidays and it's good to have some sort of plan and adjust expectations. The hockey games will be fun and something to look forward to and that helps I think.
ReplyDeleteI wish we could encourage the resilience and strength of character more while still being helpful to those who are genuinely in crisis.
DeleteWe're still in "wait and see" mode when it comes to Thanksgiving but yes, those hockey games will keep us busy!
Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
Your answer about art and history was almost the opposite of mine!
ReplyDeleteI noticed that too! I think I felt the same as many people who answered and appreciate both, but somehow I landed on a different conclusion! LOL Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
DeleteGreat advice for anyone! Your art and history answer had me nodding yes, too. Growing up, seafood was not something on the menu at our house. I've never developed the enjoyment of it. We spent our very first Thanksgiving together without any of our family members on either side available so we found a restaurant to have our turkey meal...yikes, that was weird.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure part of my dislike for seafood (or at least the non-fish seafood) is that I grew up on the prairie and it just wasn't around much. So far we haven't had Thanksgiving at a restaurant - not sure that's something we want to aim for though! LOL Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
DeleteExcellent answer for #1. I now I need a plan to motivate myself. Sorry you don't like seafood or especially those two items. I love art too. Life does go buy fast and even faster as you age. Your other advice is very good too! Get yourself a some bone in turkey breast to make. They are so easy.
ReplyDeleteI need your email address. Several of us have issues with answering comments. Everyone is a no-reply now.
dpucci9972@gmail.com
I have already contacted you with my email address - I'm not sure what the problem might be with commenting, especially as I've recently changed my settings so comments are not delayed for moderation. Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
DeleteYour advice is fabulous; I often wanted to scream when people told me to enjoy it... usually while we were at the grocery store and one kid was in full on tantrum mode.. I mean looking back now with distance and seeing how fast it really did go by I get it but yeah, you are NOT going to enjoy it ALL!
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of things I wish I'd soaked up more when my kids were little and things I could have done better, but I never enjoyed tantrums or really bad misbehaviors! That's what I would have liked to go by faster! LOL Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
DeleteHi, I really liked your answer to #1. Well said.
ReplyDeleteI also liked your bonus advice.
Thank you for sharing.
Carla
I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment!
DeleteI love history and loved teaching it. I agree it all depends on how it's taught. I had a college course with a professor who just droned on and on. His tests were nightmares, too. But, I decided he was an example of how not to teach history. My advice to someone half my age would be to do all the things you think you'll do when you're retired. You won't because you won't feel up to it, or your eyes will be worse, or your body says no while your mind says yes. Live life to the fullest each day and don't count on having a future. I hope that comes across as positive rather than negative because that's how I meant it.
ReplyDeletehttps://marshainthemiddle.com/
I agree with your advice too. Not to wait until "someday" to do the things you most want to do. We're at the point now where we're not retired yet so we still have to plan around our work, but we also don't have a guarantee that we'll be healthy and mobile enough to do some of things on our wishlist after we're retired. We're living each day to the fullest!
DeleteThanks for stopping by and commenting!
I think I belong to the people who were a bear or a hedgehog, in my former life ! I am out of work until January, when I crawl out of my hole !
ReplyDeleteI often wish I could be more like a bear and just take a long long nap during winter! Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
DeleteI really agree with your first answer! Resilience seems to be in very short supply. It is going to be an uphill battle to correct too.
ReplyDeleteI feel I have been very unproductive as well and I'm going to blame in on the time change. I wake an hour earlier and start looking at the clock for bedtime about an hour after dark!!
We feel more ready for bed when it gets dark earlier and it's hard to get things done in the evening, right? Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
DeleteA long winter's nap is good for body and soul. The only problem is that it'll take forever to get to sleep that night! I'm trying to go to bed earlier and get a bit more sleep. I am so appreciating toasty flannel sheets and an open window letting in fresh air.
ReplyDeleteI have trouble sleeping as it is, and if I take even a short nap after work, it makes it even harder. The cozy flannels and fuzzy blankets at least help me feel rested. Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
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