Finding True Community

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We have all known the long loneliness, and we have found that the answer is community. ~Dorothy Day

Those who have read anything on my blog in the past couple months have likely picked up on the fact that I've recently moved to a new state. It seems like I mention it in pretty much everything I write. I feel like it's all I have to talk about and I'm sure everyone is getting tired of it. But at the same time, moving to a new place is one of those situations that a majority of people experience at least once in their lives, and it is a big deal to reorient in new surroundings.

My husband and I have made two previous huge location moves since we've been married. Almost thirty years ago, as a young couple with a baby, we moved from Calgary, Canada to southern New Jersey, USA. Twenty-six years ago, we took our two little boys and moved to Maryland. That second move wasn't nearly as far in terms of distance, but we still had a lot of starting over to do. Then just a couple months ago, we moved to Ohio. Again, not a vast distance, but this time we didn't take a family with us - our young adult kids stayed in Maryland. So the change in our lives has been more significant. Leaving our home, our friends, our community and church and the activities we were involved in, and becoming empty nesters at the same time. Again, sorry to sound like a broken record, but it was a lot.

One thing that has been different this time from those previous two moves is that we have not yet settled into a church. Perhaps we don't feel the desperation of the need like we did in those previous moves, when I was a young(ish) at-home mom and we didn't have easy internet access. Maybe we feel like we have more choices, and can take our time with the decision. Whatever the case, we do know that it's essential to our well-being that we find a church to call home. 

The need for connection and community is primal, as fundamental as the need for air, water, and food. ~Dean Ornish

In today's world, it's so easy to stay in touch with family and friends that live far away. There's still that old fashioned thing called letter-writing, but the mail moves a lot faster than it used to! (A stamp costs a lot more, but it's still very affordable.) I can call my mom, my kids, my friends and not have to worry about expensive long-distance charges. I can text and make sure it's a good time to call. I have multiple options for instant messaging the people I want to connect with. Social media not only allows me to see snippets of my friends' daily lives, but allows me to easily share photos and thoughts from my days. And, of course, social media allows us all to connect with people from all over the world in various ways from just 'following' each other to getting involved in online communities. 

But that cannot replace in-person community.

The church exists to do two basic things - teaching and fellowship - and the purpose is to glorify God.

We need to be part of the fellowship or community of believers. Meeting together, worshiping together, learning together, eating together, encouraging and challenging and helping each other. As we look for the local church community that is right for us, we are seeking that sense of being where we belong and are valued and can contribute. 

They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

~Acts 2:42-47~

When it comes to the church, community and fellowship can be used interchangeably, I believe. Fellowship is friendship and partnership, doing life together. Being in the same boat, as the quirky little definition goes (It's a bunch of fellows in a ship!). We often refer to having a church family. Breaking bread together is a Bible-speak way of saying we share meals. We're hospitable. We pray together. We hang out together and share what we have in order to meet each other's needs. We open our homes and our hearts to each other and become like family. We welcome new members to the circle.

There are two churches we've been visiting and we like both of them. It's hard to decide between the two, and that's a good problem to have! I have a good feeling that I'll be able to update very soon and say that we have decided on a church we'll call home and that we are making connections and friends within that church community. 

Family is the one human institution we have no choice over. We get in simply by being born, and as a result we are involuntarily thrown together with a menagerie of strange and unlike people. Church calls for another step: to voluntarily choose to band together with a strange menagerie because of a common bond in Jesus Christ. I have found that such a community more resembles a family than any other human institution. Henri Nouwen once defined a community as "a place where the person you least want to live with always lives." His definition applies equally to the group that gathers each Thanksgiving and the group that congregates each Sunday morning. ~Philip Yancey

Are you part of a church that wants to welcome others into your community? You might find this post from my blogging friend Barbara (at Stray Thoughts) insightful: How Churches Can Help Visitors

This post is part of the Write 28 Days Blogging Challenge hosted by Anita Ojeda. Find all my posts for the 2023 challenge here: Write Something Somewhere

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