WQ - Lonesome and Alone

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Last week I kind of did a shortcut for my Wednesday Quotes post by combining it with a monthly photo album. This week I'm doing another shortcut, partly because I seem to be short on time lately, and partly because some of the quotes I was finding for this week's theme were ones I'd considered or even used earlier this year for a Writing Challenge article. And so, I'm participating in the Wednesday Quotes link-up hosted by Marsha at Always Write by 'quoting' my own article from February, with a few updates and some added or changed quotes from others.

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Lonely. Lonesome. Alone. Isolated.

These seem like synonyms, but there are subtle differences in the meanings. I can be be alone, but not feel lonely or lonesome, or even isolated. I can feel lonely or lonesome even when I'm not alone. Over the past several months, I've been reminded about what all of these feel like. And although most of us long for 'alone time' to a certain extent, I don't think anyone really wants to feel that they are truly alone. 

I never said, 'I want to be alone.' I only said, 'I want to be left alone.' There is all the difference. ~Greta Garbo

Life could be wonderful if people would leave you alone. ~Charlie Chaplin

Over the past year or two, my husband has watched a survival reality type show called "Alone", and I watched a lot of it with him (so he wasn't alone watching alone! Ha!). The contestants were dropped off in an isolated wilderness area with a limited amount of supplies and documented their experiences on camera. They had to construct their own shelter, find their own food and water, and maintain their own health and sanity without any contact with the rest of the world. The only contact was when they decided to 'tap out' and then the team would come get them. The winner was the one who outlasted all the others. 

It was fascinating to watch the creative solutions these contestants came up with to build shelters, hunt and gather and trap in order to feed themselves, keep warm and dry, and cope with the inevitable dangers and difficulties. Since they had to film their experience, they talked to the camera. Not surprisingly, no matter what else they faced, the hardest thing for each one to deal with was that they were completely alone and isolated. There was no one to help them with a tangled fishing net; no one to tag team with when hunting; no one to consult with over a dilemma that could be life and death; no one to assist when they got sick or injured. Every one of these contestants was alone and isolated. They were obviously lonely. Often those who tapped out very early did so because they missed their families and weren't prepared for the loneliness. Oddly, what seemed to most haunt those who stuck it out the longest and what also kept them going for one more day was that they were lonesome.

One dictionary source I consulted said while a lonely person desires companionship, a lonesome person is lonely but in a more profound and philosophical way. Or, one source suggested, in the context of American country music, the lonely person is alone and doesn't have a sweetheart. The lonesome person is alone, but there is someone specific that they long for; and that loved one's memory helps the person make it through that time of being alone.

You come into the world alone and you go out of the world alone yet it seems to me you are more alone while living than even going and coming. ~Emily Carr

In the context of the show, that makes sense. All the contestants were alone and missed being with people. They felt their isolation and loneliness keenly. For some, it was obvious that they were also lonesome, usually for a spouse and kids. They talked to themselves and to the camera, and talked a lot about that loved one and how much they were missed. How good it would be when they were finally together again. How they hoped that loved one would be proud of them. How they were confident the loved one was thinking of them, and missing them, and maybe even praying for them. I think they drew strength to endure those long lonesome days because they knew there was someone out there who loved them and was waiting.

Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up. Also, if two lie down together, they can keep warm; but how can one person alone keep warm? And if someone overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.

~Ecclesiastes 4:9-12~

I wonder if Jesus also felt a bit lonesome when he withdrew to lonely places to pray, as the gospels say he often did. I wonder if part of the agony at Gethsemane was the lonesome feeling of Heavenly Father and Son of God needing to be 'separated' at the cross. Is God lonesome for us, longing to be relationship with us? Is the eternity God has placed in our hearts what makes us lonesome for him and for heaven?

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.

~Luke 5:16~

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

~Ecclesiastes 3:11~

Perhaps those questions are just me being fanciful, but I do know that Jesus understands that this world is a lonesome place and we get lonely, and that we need fellowship. God created us to be in relationship with him, and with each other and he was the first to say it wasn't good for us to be alone without a helper or companion. 

ADONAI, God, said, "It isn't good that the person should be alone. I will make for him a companion suitable for helping him."

~Genesis 2:18 (CJB)~

And so, when we are lonely and alone, God knows what we need and he provides. When we are lonesome, he knows what we long for and he comforts and strengthens us.

Sing to God, sing in praise of his name,

extol him who rides on the clouds;

rejoice before him - his name is the LORD.

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,

is God in his holy dwelling.

God sets the lonely in families,

he leads out the prisoners with singing.

~Psalm 68:4-6~

 

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The original version of this article appeared here on A Fresh Cup of Coffee as This Lonesome Place, as part of the Write 28 Days Challenge. I used most of my original article here, with a few changes and some new quotes. And since I wrote it, I obviously used it with permission! Ha!

Living alone makes it harder to find someone to blame. ~Mason Cooley

Wednesday Quotes is hosted by Marsha at Always Write. This post will be linked at #WQ #31: Alone

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