Seasonal Changes

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Just as we can observe seasonal changes in nature, there are changing seasons in parenting and the life of the family. An overarching seasonal development as children move from infancy through the growing up years until eventually they leave home as adults. And although their leaving home might feel as cold and bleak as a bare tree in winter sometimes, it can also be seen as the beginning of a new cycle or seasons.

I think there are also seasons during the various stages of parenting, on a smaller scale. At different stages of development, kids prepare for next steps and start out with something new, then flourish and thrive with the new skills or maturity, and perhaps new freedoms or independence that they earn. But a letting go time follows that independence, as parents must step back and let kids be on their own. This can definitely feel like an autumn or even wintery season. During some winter seasons in the cycle, there's a period of quiet and rest where not much seems to be happening, but that rest may be necessary for the next round of learning and blossoming.

Let us acknowledge the LORD;

let us press on to acknowledge him.

As surely as the sun rises,

he will appear;

he will come to us like the winter rains,

like the spring rains that water the earth.

~Hosea 6:3~

Looking back, I can see many times when one of my kids had hit their stride in whatever new thing they were learning, or in finding out something about their purpose and what made them unique. Exciting times, to be sure! A five-year-old learns to read; a middle schooler falls in love with a sport or hobby that brings out their best; a high schooler makes decisions about a college or career path that is the perfect fit. And a young adult makes a choice of mate and sets out on their own. Times of great growth for them and for me as a parent. I'm not much of a gardener, but it's not unlike the pleasure of seeing the trees bud and the tulips come up and the roses bloom. I may have tended the garden, but the growth is not really my doing.

But the next stages often held some bittersweet. Once my little ones could read on their own, that meant a little less time spent on my lap requesting stories. When that young teen was delighting in music lessons or playing on a sports team or creating art, nurturing the interest and talent meant my time and money was being stretched. When the older teen started pursuing their goals and dreams, that also cost time and money, and inevitably would take them off on their own. Rather like the bold colors and crisp air of autumn. Exhilarating and beautiful, but a reminder that the season will soon change, and those leaves will drop. It's a time to do a bit of cleaning, prepare and protect for the next season.

Everything has seasons, and we have to be able to recognize when something's time has passed and be able to move into the next season. Everything that is alive requires pruning as well, which is a great metaphor for endings. ~Henry Cloud

Be glad, people of Zion,

rejoice in the LORD your God,

for he has given you the autumn rains

because he is faithful.

He sends you abundant showers,

both autumn and spring rains, as before.

~Joel 2:23~

The winter seasons are harder to define. And less predictable than weather cycles. But no matter how good and healthy the family dynamic, there are times when kids and young adults need their space and the atmosphere can feel chilly. Or it may seem as if nothing is growing and changing, but bare and dormant. Be patient and wise. Sometimes that frosty layer is protecting the growth happening underneath, and it will surprise you just like the crocuses and daffodils that seem to burst out overnight in the springtime. Keep the walkways cleared of snow so communication can continue, and wait on the Lord's timing.

Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near.

~James 5:7-8~

Nature gives to every time and season unique beauty; from morning to night, as from the cradle to the grave, it's just a succession of changes so soft and comfortable that we hardly notice the progress. ~Charles Dickens

For me, the seasons have definitely changed again since I originally wrote this, and in this case I disagree with Mr. Dickens. The changes have not been soft or comfortable! I'm not too sure what season I'm in right now, but perhaps it's almost springtime after a very stormy winter. The weather outside hasn't been that bad for the most part, but the first 'frost' of our decision to take a job that would move us - the parents - away from our adult kids came suddenly and the cold was biting. We were the ones uprooted and transplanted, and usually it's the mature trees that remain and the shoots that are moved to grow to full maturity elsewhere. I think we all felt the shock to our systems, but we have had to practice trusting the Master Gardener to know what he is doing. The young trees are thriving, and we the older trees are acclimating and getting reestablished. 

White waiting for things to change, don't be discontent with where you are. Learn to enjoy the season that you're in. ~Joel Osteen

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

~Galatians 6:9~

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Then Daniel praised the God of heaven and said: "Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are his. He changes time and seasons; he deposes kings and raises up others. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him.

~Daniel 2:19-22~

This post is part of the Write 28 Days Blogging Challenge hosted by Anita Ojeda. Find all my posts for the 2023 challenge here: Write Something Somewhere

A previous version of this article was published on Homeschool Coffee Break in February 2022, as part of the Write 28 Days Blogging Challenge hosted by Anita Ojeda. Find all my posts for the 2022 challenge here: 28 Days of Coping With Change

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