Tell Us About . . . Seasonal Changes: The Seasons of Parenting

This month the bloggers participating in the Tell Us About blogging challenge have chosen the theme "Changing Seasons". Right away I remembered something I'd written a couple of years ago that focused on how the different stages of parenting could be viewed as seasons. I've updated it a little bit to share today, and I invite you to reflect on these changing seasons with me.

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Just as we can observe seasonal changes in nature, there are changing seasons in parenting and the life of the family. An overarching seasonal development as children move from infancy through the growing up years until eventually they leave home as adults. And although their leaving home might feel as cold and bleak as a bare tree in winter sometimes, it can also be seen as the beginning of a new cycle of seasons.

I think there are also seasons throughout the various stages of parenting, on a smaller scale. At different stages of development, kids prepare for next steps and start out with something new, then flourish and thrive with the new skills or maturity, and perhaps new freedoms or independence that they earn. But a time of letting go usually follows that independence, as parents must step back and let kids be on their own. This can definitely feel like an autumn or even wintery season. During some winter seasons in the cycle, there's a period of quiet and rest where not much seems to be happening, but that rest may be necessary for the next round of learning and blossoming.

Let us acknowledge the LORD;

let us press on to acknowledge him.

As surely as the sun rises,

he will appear;

he will come to us like the winter rains,

like the spring rains that water the earth.

~Hosea 6:3~

Looking back, I can see many times when one of my kids had hit their stride in whatever new thing they were learning, or in finding out something about their purpose and what made them unique. Exciting times, to be sure! A five-year-old learns to read; a middle schooler falls in love with a sport or hobby that brings out their best; a high schooler makes decisions about a college or career path that is the perfect fit. And a young adult makes a choice of mate and sets out on their own. Times of great growth for them and for me as a parent. I'm not much of a gardener, but it's not unlike the pleasure of seeing the trees bud and the tulips come up and the roses bloom. I may have tended the garden, but the growth is not really my doing.

But the next stages often held some bittersweet. Once my little ones could read on their own, that meant a little less time spent on my lap requesting stories. When that young teen was delighting in music lessons or playing on a sports team or creating art, nurturing the interest and talent meant my time and money was being stretched. When the older teen started pursuing their goals and dreams, that also cost time and money, and inevitably would take them off on their own. Rather like the bold colors and crisp air of autumn. Exhilarating and beautiful, but a reminder that the season will soon change, and those leaves will drop. It's a time to do a bit of cleaning, and to prepare and protect for the next season.

Everything has seasons, and we have to be able to recognize when something's time has passed and be able to move into the next season. Everything that is alive requires pruning as well, which is a great metaphor for endings. ~Henry Cloud

Be glad, people of Zion,

rejoice in the LORD your God,

for he has given you the autumn rains

because he is faithful.

He sends you abundant showers,

both autumn and spring rains, as before.

~Joel 2:23~

The winter seasons are harder to define. And less predictable than weather cycles. But no matter how good and healthy the family dynamic, there are times when kids and young adults need their space and the atmosphere can feel chilly. Or it may seem as if nothing is growing and changing, but bare and dormant. Be patient and wise. Sometimes that frosty layer is protecting the growth happening underneath, and it will surprise you just like the crocuses and daffodils that seem to burst out overnight in the springtime. Keep the walkways cleared of snow so communication can continue, and wait on the Lord's timing.

Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near.

~James 5:7-8~

Nature gives to every time and season unique beauty; from morning to night, as from the cradle to the grave, it's just a succession of changes so soft and comfortable that we hardly notice the progress. ~Charles Dickens

For me, the seasons have definitely changed again since I originally wrote this, and keep changing! And I find that I can't wholly agree with Mr. Dickens. The changes have not been soft or comfortable! I'm not too sure what season I'm in right now, but perhaps it's still springtime after a very stormy winter. The first 'frost' of our decision in late 2022 to take a job that would move us - the parents - away from our adult kids came suddenly and the cold was biting. We were the ones uprooted and transplanted, and usually it's the mature trees that remain and the shoots that are moved to grow to full maturity elsewhere. It was a shock to our systems, but we needed to practice trusting the Master Gardener to know what he is doing. The young trees we left behind are thriving, and we older trees had the job of acclimating and getting reestablished. Rather than fight the season and situation we found ourselves in, we had to bloom where we were planted and we have learned that we can flourish and be productive wherever we find ourselves.

White waiting for things to change, don't be discontent with where you are. Learn to enjoy the season that you're in. ~Joel Osteen

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

~Galatians 6:9~

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 This article first appeared as Seasonal Changes in February 2023, and was adapted from an earlier article on Homeschool Coffee Break in February 2022,

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Tell Us About . . . is a monthly opportunity for bloggers to showcase their creativity. Each month one of the co-hosts will choose the word to focus on. On the third Thursday of every month we'll respond to the prompt "Tell Us About ---" which could be absolutely anything. And how we respond is also wide open. It could be a blog post with our opinions or reminscences; a poem, photos, a short story or whatever takes your fancy―it could even be a mix of all these! This month's theme, chosen by Marsha at Marsha in the Middle, is "Seasonal Changes" 

This post is linked at Deb's World

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